one time i went to church for christmas carols and i looked completely uncomfortable there and this girl overheard me telling my mum that i didn’t think i belonged there because i’m an atheist and then she came up to me later and said “you will know there is a god when he saves you from hell” and i just looked her dead in the face and said “who says i want to be saved? shit loads of gay sex in hell” and then she genuinely hissed at me and all i could think of was
when i say i want to marry my favorite musician i don’t mean just bang i mean like
i want to be making pancakes on sunday morning and have him walk downstairs in plaid pajama pants with messy hair and have him kiss me on the nose
I’d also bang him though
oh my god i’m at the grocery store and there is a guy in the frozen section who is tweaked off his balls on some kind hallucinatory drug.
i’m in the next isle meowing softly through the cereal boxes where he can’t see me and he is losing his shit pulling pizza boxes out of the freezers and yelling that he needs to save the popsicle cat
am i a bad person